In the grand scheme of things, what I write and think about doesnâ€™t matter. But often, writing has proven to be the strongest ally I have with communicating ideas, frustration, and the emotional states I find myself in.
I have a tendency to beat myself up over the outcome of things both within and beyond my control; something Iâ€™m aware of, and learning to get better at handling. I regret that I quit a well-paying job in a field I love, because of principle, and because I was confused and needed to pursue what I knew I could professionally achieve.
The real world hits you back hard, though, and after almost six months of trying, consistently, to gain equitable employment, Iâ€™m close to chucking my career aspirations out the window. I need to talk about how much I love content, and great writing, and passionate people, but I also need a job that puts a roof over my head and makes me feel validated, if even in the basic ways I need to feel now.
Iâ€™ve read countless articles, blog posts, and updates from people online who talk about pursuing your goals – which I still intend on going for, given the opportunity.Â
Noodley goodness loaded with succulent pork, shrimp and tender-crisp vegetables, tossed with the savoury depth of soy and oyster sauce.Â
Photo via pulaw on Flickr.
I made pancit guisado on Saturday – a staple of the Filipino cooking cannon that Iâ€™ve never prepared myself. It was fun, and produced a deliciously large plate eagerly consumed by three. I blanched the pancitâ€™s veg components separately – matchstick carrots, snow peas, and crisp green beans – for a minute, dunked them in an ice bath, then set aside for tossing with the noodles and shrimp in the last minute of cooking. A great technique to prevent soggy, sad vegetables in the final dish.
My dinner companions have been incredibly patient with me throughout this period of self-doubt, work-searching and general deflation of personal worth and confidence. Iâ€™ve considered these weekly recipe projects a welcome respite to the arduousness of job hunting – hopefully, to result in a greater good.